Oh where does time go? How do I let the days of counting slip through my fingers, the moments to remember and give thanks get lost at the bottom of the laundry basket along with the socks.....why do I find it so hard to STAY present with my Lord? To see that life is all His making and all very good if filtered through Him and his Word?
The only reason I can grasp is that I am dust, and His Grace upon amazing Grace is that His very Word reminds me that He remembers He formed us from dust......ah ha. He knows I'm a dusty mess and loves me anyway......Grace, upon Grace.
so to the counting.....
91. a new school year begun
92. a new place of fellowship, that values both wisdom and the Gospel....I bathe in his Grace
93. A community, and family, a sisterhood that see through me, to the real me.
94. Knowing the Guide, as I let go of the need for guidance.....just walk WITH me Lord, let the fog roll as it may.
95. Tomato plants reaching the sky, and dripping in red sugar.
96. loud giggles
97. first narrations
98. musings from a three year old about how red is really NOT golden.
99. music that last generations and still causes tears to rise
100. lively chickens
101. all the Promises that contain His power if I just have Faith and Hope in His Love.
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
some catching up todo...
I have sick children and really needed a reminder of my place, my blessings as I am growing impatient and weary myself. Here is all I needed to remember:
36. A halo of light
...and there in the list He's met me again....restored by His blessing, humbled in thanksgiving.
36. A halo of light
37. cotton puff clouds
38. hula hoop
39. running hugs
40. opening the door to the smell of slow cooked goodness
41. 3 flowers blooming reminds of 3 children growing and finding their way
42. Neck wrapping warmth
43. Smiling spellers
44. Pull back racers created with love
45. Whirling colors
46. Robins egg skies
47. Bursts of Lavender braking traffics monotony
48. Warm eggs supported by smiling sheep
49. Twinkling eyes
50. Unexpected soul gifts
51. heaven breath though the long grass
52. Fields of yellow
53. Trees lovingly covered in soft burst of color- ruffles of life unfurling
54. Sproutlings; fresh and green
55. A quiet soul boon, I rouse
56. boisterous booming joyful bass voice- hidden, discovered, and wonderfully uncomfortable at times
57. the big-little, little-big In life, in relationships, in shared chins
58. pile of black gold
59. the feeling in the air -tender, soothing- is this His peace that passes understanding? Breath of new hope.
60. His loving mercy on a stubborn 81 year old- time left to know Him yet because He wants that non should parish so He allows her time to terry....
61. understanding the cost of EACH blowup is ALWAYS too great, His grace to cover when I loose it anyway
62. sprouts
66. an empty dumpster full...willing hands working in love
67. the word whone.....in a 4 year olds version of the doxology
68. Children screaming BIBLE so loud my ears ring
69. Sharing my way of life with SO many amazing families, doing our best at Living the Titus 2 way
70. A night of praise
71. Bodies strong enough to fight sickness
72. Warm babies to snuggle- even if it's fever induced
73. a husbands understanding that the most important things DO get done daily
74. the excitement of a fresh reader
75. The vocabulary of thanks becoming common off their tongues and mine
76. kids that match in clothing and demeanor
77. gnomes
78. movie nights, and warm fires
79. mid afternoon coffee, a jolt to strive on
80. serving...humbly, honestly
81. Books that change things
82. Words that never return void.
83. a tidy house
84. fresh breeze
85. glasses fixed
86. Radishes nearing the first harvest
87. fire engine red dining chairs
88. a finger puppet show
89. a ring to remind, Be Anxious of NOTHING... life is NOT an emergency
...and there in the list He's met me again....restored by His blessing, humbled in thanksgiving.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
a list of 10....
26. words finally spoken
27. the thought of my own rainbow making chickens
28. the smell of fresh brewed coffee
29. sun beams through wisps of hair
30. living in a time when 30 miles isn't very far at all
31. Happy eyes
32. knowing I'm not only saved through Grace but JUSTIFIED.....forgiven+restored.
33. Pink blossoms on trees
34. girl-scout cookies, and COLD milk
Thank you Lord, for eyes WIDE open.
Monday, February 21, 2011
The Bounty of Just Enough....
How many times have I opened my fridge and moaned?
How many times have I said I was broke, flat can even buy gas broke?
How many times have my eyes glazed over, as I held gratitude captive and invited envy in, and sat down to a too full plate with greed?
How often have I missed the blessing of Just Enough?
More times then I can count money has run tight, the fridge and the cupboards so stark they look more like a cavern of white, and for a moment I forget to breath.
Oh, I've had to lean heavy on the bounty of just enough.
Like a parade, one roasted chicken stretches into 3 meals. I find fresh air, and inhale. Children giggle; happy and content with what they find here- both tangible and not, and my God promising....I will provide.....I will bless......with the bounty and over abundance of Just Enough. I can see the fullness here. In this moment there is bounty.
He promises this to me as an unseen blessing, as a love offering because He, my maker knows.....too much makes my eyes wavier, makes my stomach hunger for things untasted, makes my wits and soul song dim. When I am full by the worlds standards I forget the blessing of breath, I forget that I'm always going to be uncomfortable here, because this world is not my home. I stop longing for home.
I forget my need of HIM,
I forget my thanksgiving,
I forget the mini-miracles,
the MANY gifts:
21. sunlight bent through rounded glass
22. perspective, and watching it shift towards Grace....fullness....
23. children hiking a snow topped mountain
24. chubby toes, small brightly colored nails
25. seeing that just enough is a keep your eyes on ME love offering, not a withholding.
...Just enough.....
How many times have I said I was broke, flat can even buy gas broke?
How many times have my eyes glazed over, as I held gratitude captive and invited envy in, and sat down to a too full plate with greed?
How often have I missed the blessing of Just Enough?
More times then I can count money has run tight, the fridge and the cupboards so stark they look more like a cavern of white, and for a moment I forget to breath.
Oh, I've had to lean heavy on the bounty of just enough.
Like a parade, one roasted chicken stretches into 3 meals. I find fresh air, and inhale. Children giggle; happy and content with what they find here- both tangible and not, and my God promising....I will provide.....I will bless......with the bounty and over abundance of Just Enough. I can see the fullness here. In this moment there is bounty.
He promises this to me as an unseen blessing, as a love offering because He, my maker knows.....too much makes my eyes wavier, makes my stomach hunger for things untasted, makes my wits and soul song dim. When I am full by the worlds standards I forget the blessing of breath, I forget that I'm always going to be uncomfortable here, because this world is not my home. I stop longing for home.
I forget my need of HIM,
I forget my thanksgiving,
I forget the mini-miracles,
the MANY gifts:
21. sunlight bent through rounded glass
22. perspective, and watching it shift towards Grace....fullness....
23. children hiking a snow topped mountain
24. chubby toes, small brightly colored nails
25. seeing that just enough is a keep your eyes on ME love offering, not a withholding.
...Just enough.....
To see grace, to be filled, to be free.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Would you dare to Believe?
I was so blessed by the Matthew West concert! God always meets us just where we are, surrounded by JUST the people we should share each moment with. People who can understand your heart, and see small blessings. People who you can cry for as they sit just as exposed as you....lumps of clay battered by the harsh elements in this world....but His water restores....shapes.......
Would you dare to believe? Would I dare to believe?
The opener was Josh Wilson....and he sang.....
...My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture.....
11. A snow dusted mountain view from my own backyard
12. Tortilla wrapped goodness that filled my belly, with a side of friendship that filled my soul.
13. Soft inviting cheeks that wiggle when mama is uttered in baby talk that lingers even as 3 is approaching.
14. The thought that tending anything takes patience and sweat to see growth, and toil as we may the final fruit comes only by Gods hand.
15. Fresh turned soil on a sunny day.
16. Bits of paper love spread about in a prism of colors and shapes ( how have I missed the goodness in this perseverance and tiny love offerings?!?)
17. An arm offered for comfort- first steps.
18. Laughter! Oh the splendor of variation and sound! Giddy, goofy, boisterous, contagious, snorting, even silent found only in the twinkling of the eyes- all so beautiful fluid and life filling.
19. Long dark eyelashes batting, pulling, suckering me in
20. A wisp of weeds left for a ladybug haven and spot hunting and the squeals of joy as spots are counted. "A Six spotter mom!!!"
Would you dare to believe? Would I dare to believe?
The opener was Josh Wilson....and he sang.....
...My friend, you know how this all ends
and you know where you're going,
you just don't know how you get there
so just say a prayer.
and hold on, cause there's good who love God,
life is not a snapshot, it might take a little time,
but you'll see the bigger picture.....
in blessings....
11. A snow dusted mountain view from my own backyard
12. Tortilla wrapped goodness that filled my belly, with a side of friendship that filled my soul.
13. Soft inviting cheeks that wiggle when mama is uttered in baby talk that lingers even as 3 is approaching.
14. The thought that tending anything takes patience and sweat to see growth, and toil as we may the final fruit comes only by Gods hand.
15. Fresh turned soil on a sunny day.
16. Bits of paper love spread about in a prism of colors and shapes ( how have I missed the goodness in this perseverance and tiny love offerings?!?)
17. An arm offered for comfort- first steps.
18. Laughter! Oh the splendor of variation and sound! Giddy, goofy, boisterous, contagious, snorting, even silent found only in the twinkling of the eyes- all so beautiful fluid and life filling.
19. Long dark eyelashes batting, pulling, suckering me in
20. A wisp of weeds left for a ladybug haven and spot hunting and the squeals of joy as spots are counted. "A Six spotter mom!!!"
.....Once you feel the way of glory,
all your pain will fade to memory....
all your pain will fade to memory....
Friday, February 18, 2011
Five in the midst....
Oh today has been rocky....motherhood battles for souls....one of those days when you feel like you are standing at arms against your charges rather the WITH and FOR them. Blessedly I know the truth- I am gate-keeper, I am on watch, I will not back down.....
so here are my five for the day so far in the midst of chaos, but my guess is God in His goodness will give me more as the day settles....
so here are my five for the day so far in the midst of chaos, but my guess is God in His goodness will give me more as the day settles....
6. Hot cocoa on cold days....warms little cool hearts as well as bellies
7. The privilege to Home school my children- which on days like today means the opportunity to educate and train their hearts as well as minds.
8. PRAYER- it's power, its healing, it's direct connect to my Savior and life source
9. My new to-do list rules- No more then 10 things in a day to focus on, pick 3 Most Important Things- be satisfied if those 3 get done, even if the other 7 don't. Leave room for life and the wonderful people who you choose to fill it with.
10. MATTHEW WEST! tonight I get to unwind with a few of my closest friends and praise my maker....after this week of motherhood trench work, after FINALLY seeing the blessings in all of life.....I can't wait to lift my hands to my maker as my spirit bows low....
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Beginning again....
Here, my heart has found a softness I've been missing of late...
I will begin again
Reading Ann Voskamp's blog, and now, book has opened my red rimmed, tired eyes to what my Lord really has waiting for me too; if I can just seize this daily, moment by moment act of thanksgiving. If I take time to come here and add, reflect, and kneel humbly before Him who gives all- who gives only good and perfect gifts. Who takes the muck of life, and turns the bad into gardens of the soul; if only I stop to look for it eyes wide open.
Here, I begin again....remembering....restoring what He gave to us all in the beginning... bountiful life.... the blessing of here...my count will start. may it never again cease...
1. Children's laughter as imaginative games flood my home. Today it's fairies throwing a party and building "huts".
2. Jazz piano rifts...how amazing to be provided with a teacher that teaches Suzuki method with Jazz. I've always had a fondness for the moodiness and soul of that style. Until radar I missed how Gods blessed my heart, not just AJs in this...
3. Rain! Although my children are bound by it, the soil needs it. My future garden space will be easier to weed and prep and hopefully bear much fruit. All sunshine a desert makes. We want NO deserts here. Not of the land or if the soul. So I can finally welcome the rain.
4. Great books
. Again today I am blessed by the honey of good authors!!! For me and the babies. We were reading an abridged version of the Wind in the Willows then while looking for another book I found the honey of an original. Never accept a sweet and low version!!! You miss so much. The under tones and subtleties are lost. Reading the originals make the story vivid, fluid. Such a great reminder of how the authentic is ALWAYS worth the time.
5. Friendships that are like family, and family that are trusted friends. Relationships that feed and are fed. The sustaining moments of crying with and for others. Truly laughing out loud, and shaking our heads. This is the stuff that fills a life and heart.
...Five for today, five for tomorrow. Can I grasp five new moments of thanksgiving a day? Five new places to find love and gratitude? Five moments of awe in which I can see His hand here, now in the these moments? Do I dare? Will it change me?
I am going to try. Here I stand hands unfurling to blessings I may have missed waiting for someday to come.
I will begin again
Reading Ann Voskamp's blog, and now, book has opened my red rimmed, tired eyes to what my Lord really has waiting for me too; if I can just seize this daily, moment by moment act of thanksgiving. If I take time to come here and add, reflect, and kneel humbly before Him who gives all- who gives only good and perfect gifts. Who takes the muck of life, and turns the bad into gardens of the soul; if only I stop to look for it eyes wide open.
Here, I begin again....remembering....restoring what He gave to us all in the beginning... bountiful life.... the blessing of here...my count will start. may it never again cease...
1. Children's laughter as imaginative games flood my home. Today it's fairies throwing a party and building "huts".
2. Jazz piano rifts...how amazing to be provided with a teacher that teaches Suzuki method with Jazz. I've always had a fondness for the moodiness and soul of that style. Until radar I missed how Gods blessed my heart, not just AJs in this...
3. Rain! Although my children are bound by it, the soil needs it. My future garden space will be easier to weed and prep and hopefully bear much fruit. All sunshine a desert makes. We want NO deserts here. Not of the land or if the soul. So I can finally welcome the rain.
4. Great books
. Again today I am blessed by the honey of good authors!!! For me and the babies. We were reading an abridged version of the Wind in the Willows then while looking for another book I found the honey of an original. Never accept a sweet and low version!!! You miss so much. The under tones and subtleties are lost. Reading the originals make the story vivid, fluid. Such a great reminder of how the authentic is ALWAYS worth the time.5. Friendships that are like family, and family that are trusted friends. Relationships that feed and are fed. The sustaining moments of crying with and for others. Truly laughing out loud, and shaking our heads. This is the stuff that fills a life and heart.
...Five for today, five for tomorrow. Can I grasp five new moments of thanksgiving a day? Five new places to find love and gratitude? Five moments of awe in which I can see His hand here, now in the these moments? Do I dare? Will it change me?
I am going to try. Here I stand hands unfurling to blessings I may have missed waiting for someday to come.
Friday, January 21, 2011
He is
In the places where sin meets forgiveness.....
Brokenness gives way.
Newness peeks though a fury of thoughts held captive.
They are not calm prisoners...no it often sounds like the lunatics are running the asylum...and yet...
Tentatively I hand it all to my Savior- because the stark reality is that either He IS big enough to mend it all on His own, in His perfect timing, without me- or He's not.
I believe with all of my weary soul He is. He always has been. It must be Him alone. He alone is the Alpha and Omega. He alone care enough to weep when we weep, dry our tears and point us to His Glory.
I know my strength won't do. My love isn't sufficient. I will, if given the chance; free the naysaying prisoners and call them comrades....entertaining them. No no no. It must be Him....
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm...
In Christ Alone lyrics Natalie Grant
He is my Strong tower, His Love IS sufficient. He brings a peace that passes understanding and quiets my soul. He is more then enough. By His grace the broken is being made new. On him I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Brokenness gives way.
Newness peeks though a fury of thoughts held captive.
They are not calm prisoners...no it often sounds like the lunatics are running the asylum...and yet...
Tentatively I hand it all to my Savior- because the stark reality is that either He IS big enough to mend it all on His own, in His perfect timing, without me- or He's not.
I believe with all of my weary soul He is. He always has been. It must be Him alone. He alone is the Alpha and Omega. He alone care enough to weep when we weep, dry our tears and point us to His Glory.
I know my strength won't do. My love isn't sufficient. I will, if given the chance; free the naysaying prisoners and call them comrades....entertaining them. No no no. It must be Him....
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm...
In Christ Alone lyrics Natalie Grant
He is my Strong tower, His Love IS sufficient. He brings a peace that passes understanding and quiets my soul. He is more then enough. By His grace the broken is being made new. On him I stand, all other ground is sinking sand.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Knee Deep
The tide is rising....
....a flood, a torrent. Like the ocean emotions ebb and flow.
What if the under currents take you off course? If you get sucked under them before you even realize you are knee deep?
Pulled, towed to an unknown land. Hard to breathe, harder still to understand the language of the unsaid. Yet here you stand.
Knee Deep
Here's your chance to put it all to the test- to walk your talk even if no one understands, to let go, to toss out the umbrellas that keep you from getting wet, to feel the mist on your cheeks; yet surrender to the only pull that matters.
Knee Deep
this time you can see you are in Living Waters. A place you don't fully understand. A place that asks you to build Arks- while scoffers laugh. A place where there are those waiting to feed you to lions that sleep instead of feed. A place that says nothing is impossible and falling forward is a requirement. A place where the sting of sin smothers but because Love DID what was promised and overcame new breath WILL come.
Knee Deep
Your life is on the line choose to be more then an ever changing ebb and flow. Don't just test the waters; be swept up in Him. Rest in Him. Drink deep from His all sustaining well. Step in deeper....Dive.
....a flood, a torrent. Like the ocean emotions ebb and flow.
What if the under currents take you off course? If you get sucked under them before you even realize you are knee deep?
Pulled, towed to an unknown land. Hard to breathe, harder still to understand the language of the unsaid. Yet here you stand.
Knee Deep
Here's your chance to put it all to the test- to walk your talk even if no one understands, to let go, to toss out the umbrellas that keep you from getting wet, to feel the mist on your cheeks; yet surrender to the only pull that matters.
Knee Deep
this time you can see you are in Living Waters. A place you don't fully understand. A place that asks you to build Arks- while scoffers laugh. A place where there are those waiting to feed you to lions that sleep instead of feed. A place that says nothing is impossible and falling forward is a requirement. A place where the sting of sin smothers but because Love DID what was promised and overcame new breath WILL come.
Knee Deep
Your life is on the line choose to be more then an ever changing ebb and flow. Don't just test the waters; be swept up in Him. Rest in Him. Drink deep from His all sustaining well. Step in deeper....Dive.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Words
Words to inspire.
Words to encourage.
Words of truth.
Words...
That is my gift. That is my blessing. Wonderful colorfully spun usage of the English language. Things to make your heart soar into it's makers grasp....to up lift.
Words...
What if truth sometimes tears down? What if it unravels the linen? What is it is the final blow on a fragile pot?
Words...
What if you can not find them? What if there is no one to speak them? What if the one who can, won't.
Oh, words...
Those you long to say, long to take back, long to use to heal, to encourage, to uplift...what if they get lost in translation? what if they are used to deceive?
Sweet lack of words...
Such ache, such brokenness, such time lost. To much to cover with simple words.
Quiet...
silent...
His words, "I will never leave you or forsake you, I am your strong tower, I am NOT the father of confusion, but of peace. I have a plan and I knew even this. There is no condemnation, for I am Love"
Words....
His words fuel me, comfort me, sooth me, guide me on. I can not trust mans words- nor my own tongue to always choose right. I am an unraveled linen, a lump of clay without His breath or
His words...
They are all that matters, they will bring healing, restoration, and peace. They are so much more then mere
Words.
Words to encourage.
Words of truth.
Words...
That is my gift. That is my blessing. Wonderful colorfully spun usage of the English language. Things to make your heart soar into it's makers grasp....to up lift.
Words...
What if truth sometimes tears down? What if it unravels the linen? What is it is the final blow on a fragile pot?
Words...
What if you can not find them? What if there is no one to speak them? What if the one who can, won't.
Oh, words...
Those you long to say, long to take back, long to use to heal, to encourage, to uplift...what if they get lost in translation? what if they are used to deceive?
Sweet lack of words...
Such ache, such brokenness, such time lost. To much to cover with simple words.
Quiet...
silent...
His words, "I will never leave you or forsake you, I am your strong tower, I am NOT the father of confusion, but of peace. I have a plan and I knew even this. There is no condemnation, for I am Love"
Words....
His words fuel me, comfort me, sooth me, guide me on. I can not trust mans words- nor my own tongue to always choose right. I am an unraveled linen, a lump of clay without His breath or
His words...
They are all that matters, they will bring healing, restoration, and peace. They are so much more then mere
Words.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Marks of the True Christian
9Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. 10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. 11Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. 12 Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 13 Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
14Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight. 17 Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. 18If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. 19Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." 20To the contrary, "if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head." 21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Romans 12:9-21
.....is this us? Can the world find this in us? Do we strive to wear these marks?
Father,
Give me the strength to always bear these marks so they shall know I am YOURS alone.
Let my cares fall on Your shoulders so I can focus on doing Your work in Your way.
Let thoughts of me and my comfort fade and let me not be distracted by my foolish pride and personal glory
That the world will see that I bare the mark of Your resurrection.
That I am new, because of who You are. That all that is within me shouts of Your glory.
amen.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
an Engulfing Journey
WOW has God been at work!
I mean He always is, BUT wow. I am seeing HIM manifested SO VERY clearly.
See I've recently witnessed a mountain move. A HUGE Alpine of a mountain and now I am able to bask fully in the splendid overwhelming view of the fountain of Living Water.
...I know back to me and the Water. I seem to always come back. So thirsty, filled with the only kind of gluttony that's worth anything....I want to drink Him in. Fully, filling, I want to Burst through this flesh and show Him.
I'm not scared to submit now. Contrary to what you may believe that hasn't always been the case. I was timid, I was parched, I was squelched- my bones were dry, and my flesh too absorbing. I was lukewarm and LOVED my fake control. Maybe not at any point you knew me, but I was.
On this fervent journey He's been pouring out BUCKETS full of helpful suplements. Bits to energize me as I stride on towards Him and the fountian of sustaining water. Deep calling out to DEEP.
He calls as I run- Taste and See....I taste, and like a nursing child I can hardly breath as I drink His goodness.
I am so fervent in fact that I often stumble- worse I cause my fellow runners to trip. Its not because I mean too, not because I forget my course- but because I am caught off guard by the distractions and hurdles in this world. I take my eyes off my final destination and get too comfortable Here. But, the journey is far from over. This world is not my home. like David so often laments in psalm I realize what just happened, and the water He so freely filled me with flows from my eyes and before I know it His hands are there, His helpers are there, and I am back first on my knees (oh this is a gloriously humbling place to be) then back on track.
His Water is always calling. I am always thirsty for Him, and hungry for His word.
As I run today, uncertain of His plans BUT sure He's going to use me and my house in His service I find I'd like to share a few supplements that have helped clarify the Path set before me. They have restored my Hope and vision.....
What the real witnesses of Christ really do
Crazy Love (and Francis Chans podcasts)
Jesus of Suburbia
Family Driven Faith ( and other Voddie podcasts)
and the music, Oh the music. That alone could fill a post but I think this song sums it up tonight Hosanna
"I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees"
Oh there is so much more. This journey is so much more then most of us American travelers let it be. Drink deeply from His well, run to His word. Be Hungry. Stay hungry, and don't ever let your heart become satisfied with less then He wants to give, but be content.
Again. He calls as I run- Taste and See....I taste, and like a nursing child I can hardly breath as I drink His goodness. Deep calling out to deep.
I mean He always is, BUT wow. I am seeing HIM manifested SO VERY clearly.
See I've recently witnessed a mountain move. A HUGE Alpine of a mountain and now I am able to bask fully in the splendid overwhelming view of the fountain of Living Water.
...I know back to me and the Water. I seem to always come back. So thirsty, filled with the only kind of gluttony that's worth anything....I want to drink Him in. Fully, filling, I want to Burst through this flesh and show Him.
I'm not scared to submit now. Contrary to what you may believe that hasn't always been the case. I was timid, I was parched, I was squelched- my bones were dry, and my flesh too absorbing. I was lukewarm and LOVED my fake control. Maybe not at any point you knew me, but I was.
On this fervent journey He's been pouring out BUCKETS full of helpful suplements. Bits to energize me as I stride on towards Him and the fountian of sustaining water. Deep calling out to DEEP.
He calls as I run- Taste and See....I taste, and like a nursing child I can hardly breath as I drink His goodness.
I am so fervent in fact that I often stumble- worse I cause my fellow runners to trip. Its not because I mean too, not because I forget my course- but because I am caught off guard by the distractions and hurdles in this world. I take my eyes off my final destination and get too comfortable Here. But, the journey is far from over. This world is not my home. like David so often laments in psalm I realize what just happened, and the water He so freely filled me with flows from my eyes and before I know it His hands are there, His helpers are there, and I am back first on my knees (oh this is a gloriously humbling place to be) then back on track.
His Water is always calling. I am always thirsty for Him, and hungry for His word.
As I run today, uncertain of His plans BUT sure He's going to use me and my house in His service I find I'd like to share a few supplements that have helped clarify the Path set before me. They have restored my Hope and vision.....
What the real witnesses of Christ really do
Crazy Love (and Francis Chans podcasts)
Jesus of Suburbia
Family Driven Faith ( and other Voddie podcasts)
and the music, Oh the music. That alone could fill a post but I think this song sums it up tonight Hosanna
"I see a generation
Rising up to take their place
With selfless faith
With selfless faith
I see a near revival
Stirring as we pray and seek
We're on our knees
We're on our knees"
Oh there is so much more. This journey is so much more then most of us American travelers let it be. Drink deeply from His well, run to His word. Be Hungry. Stay hungry, and don't ever let your heart become satisfied with less then He wants to give, but be content.
Again. He calls as I run- Taste and See....I taste, and like a nursing child I can hardly breath as I drink His goodness. Deep calling out to deep.
Friday, April 02, 2010
Eggs
Angry words fly as cups filled with neon water spill and splatter. A masterpiece in the eyes of a child cracked and destroyed. Tears flow.
Small unknowing hands are to blame; a moment filled with frenzy. The peace has been broken.
My eyes dart around as I seek a way to restore, to remove the chaos.
shhhhhh....
the echos in this moment become clear to me.
In motherhood I see Calvary.
I begin to softly cry. The bickering stops- all turn to me. Eyes glare at each other. All are placing the blame for the tears on each other. A moment lost, or not
I grab my small ones near me. Restoration is needed. They don't understand my grief; they are focused on eggs, and hurt- I on a cross 2000 years old.
I cover the moment in a prayer as I dab my eyes....the water....
I begin running water. As they wait for my next move the small ones look around and find each other broken. Hurt fills the room.
Soap is added, the bowl is filled.....slosh....the rag dips in and their attention is back on me.
They are silent, curious, full of wonder. This is different. Their ears are ready to listen as I reach for a foot. They forget the hurt of broken eggs and allow me to bring them to the only One that matters.....
Jesus.
The Living Water.
Servant of man.
Sacrificed.
By His blood we are clean.
Cracked,
Broken,
Yolk exposed.
In all my life there have never been more beautiful eggs.
Small unknowing hands are to blame; a moment filled with frenzy. The peace has been broken.
My eyes dart around as I seek a way to restore, to remove the chaos.
shhhhhh....
the echos in this moment become clear to me.
In motherhood I see Calvary.
The crowd is in a frenzy....Crucify Him they screamed....
small unknowing people.....
Eloi, Eloi.....broken.....the scriptures fulfilled.
small unknowing people.....
Eloi, Eloi.....broken.....the scriptures fulfilled.
I begin to softly cry. The bickering stops- all turn to me. Eyes glare at each other. All are placing the blame for the tears on each other. A moment lost, or not
I grab my small ones near me. Restoration is needed. They don't understand my grief; they are focused on eggs, and hurt- I on a cross 2000 years old.
I cover the moment in a prayer as I dab my eyes....the water....
I begin running water. As they wait for my next move the small ones look around and find each other broken. Hurt fills the room.
Soap is added, the bowl is filled.....slosh....the rag dips in and their attention is back on me.
They are silent, curious, full of wonder. This is different. Their ears are ready to listen as I reach for a foot. They forget the hurt of broken eggs and allow me to bring them to the only One that matters.....
Jesus.
The Living Water.
Servant of man.
Sacrificed.
By His blood we are clean.
Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me."
John 13: 8b
John 13: 8b
Cracked,
Broken,
Yolk exposed.
In all my life there have never been more beautiful eggs.
Monday, March 29, 2010
....For....
.... the weeks I've missed blogging and spent living,
and for remembering my need of connection and reflection
For cute tummies,
and amazing soul feeding Christ centered friendships
For a husbands devotion, tender unsure prayers and love,
and wall crashing big dreams; for a Lord who can make it all possible
For children who come, with eyes filled with tears seeking prayer,
and the gift of spending each day with the 3 most amazing people I know
For weeks of sunshine,
and days of rest
For hindering them not at the foot of the Cross,
and remembering the week that changed EVERYTHING,
For a gift so amazing it brings me to my knees and my soul to my Father,
and soul tears shed for the Mother that watched MY savior, her baby be crucified
For quiet, big prayer closet filled moments,
and broken lives made new.
For a family that's been changed,
and Grace that's new each morning.
For You oh Lord I am Grateful, because of You I am blessed.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I can Only Imagine...
God is so good. He so over reigns. (don't you love that breakdown of sovereign?)
Last night I witnessed His spirit flow freely. There was no sermon- no one who spent years in seminary uncovering truths I can not fathom. Yet my eyes glistened and I felt His spirit more deeply the I could have imagined.
Who could of imagined a group of 2- 12 year olds could be so full of Him? The one that made them. The one that saved them.
He could.
They asked Jesus, “Do you hear what these children are saying?” “Yes,” Jesus replied. “Haven’t you ever read the Scriptures? For they say, ‘You have taught children and infants to give you praise. -Mathew 21:16
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Mathew 19:4
.... our homeschool group had a presentation night. Some of the children tagged it a show off night and for me- I think they were right. They were showing off Our Father- His blessings, His love, the wonders of His creation.
They sang the old hymns, they recited the Scriptures, they showed that they have wisdom beyond their years, and they amazed us with their deft fingers on ivory keys, silver flutes, and bow strings. Oh yes He was there and He was praised.
Psalms 139 written across a heart, The Lords prayer closing their thoughts, fellowship, grace and love.
He was there. I was blessed.
As one brilliant duet belted out "I can Only Imagine"....
Last night I witnessed His spirit flow freely. There was no sermon- no one who spent years in seminary uncovering truths I can not fathom. Yet my eyes glistened and I felt His spirit more deeply the I could have imagined.
Who could of imagined a group of 2- 12 year olds could be so full of Him? The one that made them. The one that saved them.
He could.
They asked Jesus, “Do you hear what these children are saying?” “Yes,” Jesus replied. “Haven’t you ever read the Scriptures? For they say, ‘You have taught children and infants to give you praise. -Mathew 21:16
(Let them all praise the name of the Lord. For his name is very great; his glory towers over the earth and heaven -Psalm 148:13)
Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these. Mathew 19:4
.... our homeschool group had a presentation night. Some of the children tagged it a show off night and for me- I think they were right. They were showing off Our Father- His blessings, His love, the wonders of His creation.
They sang the old hymns, they recited the Scriptures, they showed that they have wisdom beyond their years, and they amazed us with their deft fingers on ivory keys, silver flutes, and bow strings. Oh yes He was there and He was praised.
Psalms 139 written across a heart, The Lords prayer closing their thoughts, fellowship, grace and love.
He was there. I was blessed.
As one brilliant duet belted out "I can Only Imagine"....
This is what it will be like.
Heaven Belongs to such as these.
I can only imagine.
I can only imagine.
Children are a gift from the Lord;
they are a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3
they are a reward from him.
Psalms 127:3
Saturday, February 13, 2010
If Necessary use words....
God has taught me so much in the last few years. One lesson I didn't think I'd ever learn (and must confess I still struggle with daily) is to speak less. By less I mean WAY less.
My friends are sweet enough to call me verbose, but really I'm gabby and oh so LOUD. If I'm happy I talk. If I'm mad I talk. If I'm nervous...you got it... I talk. I am a natural born talker. I will ALWAYS favor the long story (as a listener too), I go off on millions of tangents, and I admit that I often get so excited in a course of conversation that I am so rude as to interrupt. I love to talk.
I think this love of English language stems from me being an extrovert, and highly relationship driven. I want to know more about you, and I want you to understand me. I have yet to find ways that accomplish this so well as talking- but I am trying.
Sometimes my words don't serve me well.
That was the case with my husband for years. I talked; he shuts down. This happened in our mundane daily life, and in my testimony of Faith. For those of you that have stuck with me through my blog droughts you remember that 2009 was the year I dedicated to praying fervently for him. I stopped talking, and nagging and started praying. I prayed fervently for him, I still do and God has answered me in huge ways. MY Faith in the Father to do what HE promises has changed my husband, my marriage and effectively my life. I wish I felt comfortable sharing more of his faith journey with you, but I feel strongly that that is another space in my life where me (and my fingers) need to be quiet for now....after all this is not his faith blog ;)
I will say that our God cracks me up. The ways he's touched my husbands heart are things that I could NEVER have come up with on my own. The one point I will share as an example of this- my husband says he'd like to get into the Word more on his own, I stop talking and start praying, He's not making the time, I pray more, and poof he's doing the PowerPoint's for our churches Sunday service (pastors full notes, scripture cross referencing and all). Is that an amazing God or what??!?!?
The way my life has changed by praying more and talking less is astounding. My voice box aches less and my prayer closet is visited more. I know I still over explain and talk more then my share but we are all masterpieces in progress, and I KNOW Gods not finished with me yet. So I take the little victories and rejoice as if they were huge- because the reality is that for me they are.
I think St. Francis realized a fundamental truth with he said "Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary use words."
My friends are sweet enough to call me verbose, but really I'm gabby and oh so LOUD. If I'm happy I talk. If I'm mad I talk. If I'm nervous...you got it... I talk. I am a natural born talker. I will ALWAYS favor the long story (as a listener too), I go off on millions of tangents, and I admit that I often get so excited in a course of conversation that I am so rude as to interrupt. I love to talk.
I think this love of English language stems from me being an extrovert, and highly relationship driven. I want to know more about you, and I want you to understand me. I have yet to find ways that accomplish this so well as talking- but I am trying.
Sometimes my words don't serve me well.
That was the case with my husband for years. I talked; he shuts down. This happened in our mundane daily life, and in my testimony of Faith. For those of you that have stuck with me through my blog droughts you remember that 2009 was the year I dedicated to praying fervently for him. I stopped talking, and nagging and started praying. I prayed fervently for him, I still do and God has answered me in huge ways. MY Faith in the Father to do what HE promises has changed my husband, my marriage and effectively my life. I wish I felt comfortable sharing more of his faith journey with you, but I feel strongly that that is another space in my life where me (and my fingers) need to be quiet for now....after all this is not his faith blog ;)
I will say that our God cracks me up. The ways he's touched my husbands heart are things that I could NEVER have come up with on my own. The one point I will share as an example of this- my husband says he'd like to get into the Word more on his own, I stop talking and start praying, He's not making the time, I pray more, and poof he's doing the PowerPoint's for our churches Sunday service (pastors full notes, scripture cross referencing and all). Is that an amazing God or what??!?!?
The way my life has changed by praying more and talking less is astounding. My voice box aches less and my prayer closet is visited more. I know I still over explain and talk more then my share but we are all masterpieces in progress, and I KNOW Gods not finished with me yet. So I take the little victories and rejoice as if they were huge- because the reality is that for me they are.
I think St. Francis realized a fundamental truth with he said "Preach the Gospel at all times, if necessary use words."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Relating to Mary....
This last 6 months have been strange. I have simultaneously been more blessed then I could ever dream and more overwhelmed then I could ever imagine.
I've been praying a lot about this. How can I feel so burdened when Gods yolk is light? How can I be so stressed and broken standing amongst such blessing? To be honest, I end most days feeling so ungrateful. Not because I am. No, I clearly see Gods hand working in my life in STUNNING jaw dropping ways; but because through all the blessings I still feel such weight.
Then this Sunday God used my pastors message to remind me of His amazing Hope, and His plan for me.
This Sunday I saw Mary the mother of MY Savior unmasked. The veil of wonder at her virgin birth momentarily lifted so I could see her as a woman.
Imagine with me if you will...
Being a poor 16 year old girl. You'd be trying to make plans for your future. Maybe you'd want to be married; she did. Maybe you'd want do find a way to improve your lot in life; most of us do. You'd work day in and out, life would be hard, but still you'd strive on. After all you have your faith to remind you that indeed there is something better then this.
Imagine hearing that you would become pregnant.
....That thought alone holds such weight for me. When we found out about my son I saw my future plummet. I know that's not an easy thing to hear; it's not an easy thing to admit. It is the truth though. I had plans. I was going to make it. I was going to be someone. I was NOT planning to be a statistic let alone any one's mom. I was scared....
But at that moment when Gabriel told her of Gods delight in her and His plans for her she didn't question him she said YES. She accepted His call and blessing.
Don't you think it was hard? I know it was for me. Being young, unmarried, and pregnant. People must have talked. They always do.
How do you think she felt when they said she had to go to Bethlehem? Now not only was she blessed to be carrying the son of God, but God was requiring her to travel a great distance for His birth. We know that she went. We know that Joseph got her a donkey so she wouldn't have to walk. I know donkeys stink. I know traveling when you are pregnant is never comfortable. In that moment do you suppose she felt heavy too? She carried on and did what God was asking of her but I can't help wondering if she cried out to God that this was to much for her to bare.
When they got to Bethlehem and could find no room anywhere do you think she was frustrated? I know I would be.
When the pain got to be too much and God provided the stable do you think she was grateful? While still feeling grateful do you suppose she also wondered...why here? Why have you chosen to be born here Lord? Do you think she even thought of her tender ...soft cheeked, sweet smelling baby as her King of Kings?
How do you think she felt living in Egypt during Jesus' toddlerhood? I know that raising a family without your own can be exhausting.
When Jesus cried, she comforted Him and his siblings. He was not her only child. Her hands were full. Yet, when He was eager to learn don't you suppose she taught Him? her child- fully human and fully God, being His mother must of been both a complete blessing and daunting.
He was sent to save the world. She knew that. Yet He was her son. It's incomprehensible to me what she must of felt as His ministry grew. As the cross approached.
I can never visualize that day on the cross without picturing Mary too. Her child, her Lord. She must have felt so overwhelmed, so broken, so devastated.
Did she know that day when Gabriel told her Gods plans what it all meant? What she'd feel along the way? I doubt it.
I also doubt that she gave over to the guilt of her negative thoughts (if she had any). She was being used by God. He had a plan to bless her, and prosper her. Plans to give her hope and a future.
I am being used by God. By seeing Mary as a woman/mother I am able to find myself.
I am not raising the son of God but I can relate to Mary. He has called me to raise 3 of his most wonderful creations. They are marvels of His hands. He longs for them to know Him. That is my purpose. As long as I have brought them to Him and the Cross to worship I am a success. I am significant. He doesn't care if my house is clean or they can do algebra- so why do I allow myself to feel so burdened by those things and thoughts of the future?
Feelings are fleeting. They are fickle and changing- my God is not.
So like Mary I will follow the path He has laid before me. I just hope there are no donkeys in my future.
I've been praying a lot about this. How can I feel so burdened when Gods yolk is light? How can I be so stressed and broken standing amongst such blessing? To be honest, I end most days feeling so ungrateful. Not because I am. No, I clearly see Gods hand working in my life in STUNNING jaw dropping ways; but because through all the blessings I still feel such weight.
Then this Sunday God used my pastors message to remind me of His amazing Hope, and His plan for me.
This Sunday I saw Mary the mother of MY Savior unmasked. The veil of wonder at her virgin birth momentarily lifted so I could see her as a woman.
Imagine with me if you will...
Being a poor 16 year old girl. You'd be trying to make plans for your future. Maybe you'd want to be married; she did. Maybe you'd want do find a way to improve your lot in life; most of us do. You'd work day in and out, life would be hard, but still you'd strive on. After all you have your faith to remind you that indeed there is something better then this.
Imagine hearing that you would become pregnant.
....That thought alone holds such weight for me. When we found out about my son I saw my future plummet. I know that's not an easy thing to hear; it's not an easy thing to admit. It is the truth though. I had plans. I was going to make it. I was going to be someone. I was NOT planning to be a statistic let alone any one's mom. I was scared....
But at that moment when Gabriel told her of Gods delight in her and His plans for her she didn't question him she said YES. She accepted His call and blessing.
Don't you think it was hard? I know it was for me. Being young, unmarried, and pregnant. People must have talked. They always do.
How do you think she felt when they said she had to go to Bethlehem? Now not only was she blessed to be carrying the son of God, but God was requiring her to travel a great distance for His birth. We know that she went. We know that Joseph got her a donkey so she wouldn't have to walk. I know donkeys stink. I know traveling when you are pregnant is never comfortable. In that moment do you suppose she felt heavy too? She carried on and did what God was asking of her but I can't help wondering if she cried out to God that this was to much for her to bare.
When they got to Bethlehem and could find no room anywhere do you think she was frustrated? I know I would be.
When the pain got to be too much and God provided the stable do you think she was grateful? While still feeling grateful do you suppose she also wondered...why here? Why have you chosen to be born here Lord? Do you think she even thought of her tender ...soft cheeked, sweet smelling baby as her King of Kings?
How do you think she felt living in Egypt during Jesus' toddlerhood? I know that raising a family without your own can be exhausting.
When Jesus cried, she comforted Him and his siblings. He was not her only child. Her hands were full. Yet, when He was eager to learn don't you suppose she taught Him? her child- fully human and fully God, being His mother must of been both a complete blessing and daunting.
He was sent to save the world. She knew that. Yet He was her son. It's incomprehensible to me what she must of felt as His ministry grew. As the cross approached.
I can never visualize that day on the cross without picturing Mary too. Her child, her Lord. She must have felt so overwhelmed, so broken, so devastated.
Did she know that day when Gabriel told her Gods plans what it all meant? What she'd feel along the way? I doubt it.
I also doubt that she gave over to the guilt of her negative thoughts (if she had any). She was being used by God. He had a plan to bless her, and prosper her. Plans to give her hope and a future.
I am being used by God. By seeing Mary as a woman/mother I am able to find myself.
I am not raising the son of God but I can relate to Mary. He has called me to raise 3 of his most wonderful creations. They are marvels of His hands. He longs for them to know Him. That is my purpose. As long as I have brought them to Him and the Cross to worship I am a success. I am significant. He doesn't care if my house is clean or they can do algebra- so why do I allow myself to feel so burdened by those things and thoughts of the future?
Feelings are fleeting. They are fickle and changing- my God is not.
So like Mary I will follow the path He has laid before me. I just hope there are no donkeys in my future.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
In Gods heart...
...it's funny to me how God links moments together like the links on a necklace. So delicate and so beautiful you can hardly wait to show off His finished work.
There have been moments of my life arranged in such a way this week that I knew I had to come here and share my heart- strike that-His heart for you.
(It all started with my hubby surprising me with a new necklace. I have been wanting it for AWHILE now. I knew he was planning to get it, but fiscally I didn't see it happening...but it did.
Then yesterday in conversation he asked me why I stopped taking time to blog. You see, this page is really the only time I take for myself outside of my devotional time. My life is very child minded. All of my hobbies, other blogs and life in general revolve around being present for my children, or my children. I don't say this as a bad thing. It's the purpose in my life right now, and I love it. But, after our conversation I got to thinking and realized that maybe this fact is why I've felt so heavy and exhausted lately.
Then this morning, as though a confirming nudge from God I received a quick comment from a dear sister. It reminded me that all our journeys are linked. That God uses each of us mightily in each others life's.
I needed that reminder. I am grateful for it.
Reminders are good, especially for forgetful people like me.
That brings me back to the necklace, and Gods heart.)
It has been amazing to see what an impact a tangible thing has on my mood. A quick fingering of this necklace and I am reminded of who I really am.
Now I feel He wants me to remind you. That necklace or not- In Gods Heart you too are...
Created- I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalms 139:14
Chosen- The Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession
Deuteronomy 14:2
Celebrated- He will take great delight in you...He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
Cherished- I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3
and so much more. You are His beloved. You ARE His heart.
...and you are in mine.
Necklace link: God's heart for You Necklace
There have been moments of my life arranged in such a way this week that I knew I had to come here and share my heart- strike that-His heart for you.
(It all started with my hubby surprising me with a new necklace. I have been wanting it for AWHILE now. I knew he was planning to get it, but fiscally I didn't see it happening...but it did.
Then yesterday in conversation he asked me why I stopped taking time to blog. You see, this page is really the only time I take for myself outside of my devotional time. My life is very child minded. All of my hobbies, other blogs and life in general revolve around being present for my children, or my children. I don't say this as a bad thing. It's the purpose in my life right now, and I love it. But, after our conversation I got to thinking and realized that maybe this fact is why I've felt so heavy and exhausted lately.
Then this morning, as though a confirming nudge from God I received a quick comment from a dear sister. It reminded me that all our journeys are linked. That God uses each of us mightily in each others life's.
I needed that reminder. I am grateful for it.
Reminders are good, especially for forgetful people like me.
That brings me back to the necklace, and Gods heart.)
It has been amazing to see what an impact a tangible thing has on my mood. A quick fingering of this necklace and I am reminded of who I really am.
Now I feel He wants me to remind you. That necklace or not- In Gods Heart you too are...
Created- I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalms 139:14
Chosen- The Lord has chosen you to be His treasured possession
Deuteronomy 14:2
Celebrated- He will take great delight in you...He will rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17
Cherished- I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3
and so much more. You are His beloved. You ARE His heart.
...and you are in mine.
Necklace link: God's heart for You Necklace
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tonight...
I come.
To seek refuge. To wait. To hope. To kneel.
Tonight, I wonder.
How can a weary body be home to such a fullness in spirit? How can I feel so weak, yet my resolve be so strong? How can I learn to rest at His feet when my calling is so urgent and consuming? How can I let go of this need to do it all, when I know that I can do NOTHING without Him?
Tonight, I pray.
That I can step outside of this box. That I can fully give of myself without resentment, and exhaustion. That He will show me His will and way. That I will let go of it all, to sit at His feet with my family and bask in how bountifully He has chosen to bless us. That His beloved will all feel His presence, love, provision, grace, and mercy. That we can sing a new song. A song to shed our broken bodies or spirits. A song that brings our eyes always back to the cross.
Tonight, I listen.
I strain. You are whispering. You are calling. You oh Lord are using my tired body to shout.
...stop Here dear one. Rest Here. Don't forget that I cradle you in My hands. I am your Abba. Only I know the hairs on your head, and the intentions in your heart of hearts. I am your Maker. A word of My mouth caused the days to turn to night so that you may rest. Find your rest in Me. Trust that I know what I am doing for you. Let go, I WILL catch it all. Rest on my promises. I am.
Tonight, I rest.
To seek refuge. To wait. To hope. To kneel.
Tonight, I wonder.
How can a weary body be home to such a fullness in spirit? How can I feel so weak, yet my resolve be so strong? How can I learn to rest at His feet when my calling is so urgent and consuming? How can I let go of this need to do it all, when I know that I can do NOTHING without Him?
Tonight, I pray.
That I can step outside of this box. That I can fully give of myself without resentment, and exhaustion. That He will show me His will and way. That I will let go of it all, to sit at His feet with my family and bask in how bountifully He has chosen to bless us. That His beloved will all feel His presence, love, provision, grace, and mercy. That we can sing a new song. A song to shed our broken bodies or spirits. A song that brings our eyes always back to the cross.
Tonight, I listen.
I strain. You are whispering. You are calling. You oh Lord are using my tired body to shout.
...stop Here dear one. Rest Here. Don't forget that I cradle you in My hands. I am your Abba. Only I know the hairs on your head, and the intentions in your heart of hearts. I am your Maker. A word of My mouth caused the days to turn to night so that you may rest. Find your rest in Me. Trust that I know what I am doing for you. Let go, I WILL catch it all. Rest on my promises. I am.
Tonight, I rest.
Monday, August 31, 2009
Multitude Monday...
...Of being lost in the moment with the ones I am blessed to hear call me mama...
...for a husbands faith
...for a quiet moment
...watching fruit ripen...of the soul and on the trees
...soft cheeks longing to be snuggled
...sunsets seen while laying on a bed of feathered emerald...so soft, so cool; how could we not bask in His creativity and goodness?
...for thoughtful moments
...soul sisters
...the privilege to be a good mans wife, my children teacher, and fully and deeply loved by the Creator.
...for belly laughs
...and a clean sink
..for all this and more
I am blessed. I am grateful.
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